Randomly Ryan

it's a few years old now, but I still love it.

2010-12-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

I got this chart just after Christmas 09.

2010-12-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

How much of it still applies? A lot I bet.

Originator

2010-12-10T06:41:00.000-07:00

As much as Justin Timberlake has lent to the genre, the SNL Digital Short should always be remembered for it thunderous birth, the first time we all reveled in the blatant comedic-genius of Andy Samberg.

On the release day of the newest Narnia movie, I give you "Lazy Sunday".

LOL, Love Truth

2010-03-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

Randomness is my favorite

2010-03-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

That's why I found this picture and scheduled it for a totally random day in the future*.

*future being a relative term as this is no longer "the future" to you, it is most likely "the present" and very soon "the past" and hopefully someday the "remember that one time when Ryan posted something REALLY funny" and hopefull never (::fingers crossed::) the "that's the last time I read this shit". Either way, I found this pic on 1/4/10.

** the date wasn't really random. I decided to pick a day that added up to 42.

In celebration of today being National Cheese Day in France

2010-03-24T00:02:00.002-07:00

I present you with a pic of the arm or a young lady who must REALLY like cheese.

Old but True

2010-03-15T14:46:00.001-07:00

This may be one of the smarter tattoos I've seen

2010-03-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

The pen drawing is really pen drawing, the only tattoo is the polaroid outline. Good job making a flexible tattoo. I might have to get something like this.

2010-03-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

Bwah, this guy got ripped off.

2010-03-04T23:58:00.000-07:00

real cross-word puzzles are symetrical across a diagonal axis, if not across both axis.

Noob-tattoo.

Five Things: Blast from the Past - Songs

2010-02-28T15:48:00.001-07:00

Here's an old blog from two years ago.

At this point, I'd been wrestling with the possibilty of single-fatherhood, was hating my living situation, had seriously let down my brother, and had intentionally isolated myself from the woman who would later let me come to my senses and spend the last 19 months with her.

Wonder how much I have changed and how much it's just that my environment/viewpoint has changed....

---------------

Posted: Leap Day, 2/29

I’ve just been rocking out a lot lately, so I thought I’d share some. Here below are my favorite lines from the first five songs in my playlist.

Rest My Chemistry by Interpol
“And I’ve made stairways/ such scenes for things to regret/ oh, those days in the sun/ they bring a tear to my eye/”

While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles
“With every mistake we must surely be learning/ still my guitar gently weeps/”

Martyr for My Love for You by The White Stripes
“And I bet we could build a home/ but I know the right things for me to do is to leave you alone/”

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge
“It’s only a crush, it’ll go away/ it’s just like the others, it’ll go away/ or maybe this is danger and he just don’t know/ you pray it all away but it continues to grow/”

I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles
“Well she/ looked at me/ and I could see/ that before too long/ I’d fall in love with her/” While often times my fews on the viability of love and it’s further institutions can easily be contrued as “cynical” or “anti-”, I think the songs above illustrate that even when we tell ourselves we are stepping back and resolving our own demons, we cannot help but encounter unknown possibilities. Maybe there is truth to the old maxim “it’ll come along as soon as you stop looking for it”. Or perhaps it’s just obsession. Certainly we all know people who are addicted to one behaviour or another. I’d hate to think of someone as “my new drug”, but in hind-sight, I think we can all easily call to mind at least one person from our pasts who would fit that describtion. Sometimes a fling is just a fling, but sometimes a fling is a fucking harsh life lesson. In fact, I will venture the following hypothestis; it is easier to stand tall and firm in the snarling face of adversity than in the comforting warmth of awful embrace.
When it’s all said and done, I wonder who will think of me as their “Best Mistake”.
——————————————————————–
By the way, the rest of the songs follow a vague narrative arc. I don’t think this applies to any one person so much as the natural cycle of my own love-life.
——————————————————————–
Then again, it could all be “true love” and I haven’t realized it yet…..

Actions to Avoid

2010-02-23T16:33:00.000-07:00

Too Much or Way Cool?

2010-02-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

Even I'm not this big of a comic-book nerd, but I'm not sure if this guy's piece is really overboard or totally cool. I mean, Rorschach was a total whack-job, but in the end he was right, much like Jose Canseco.

Good Quotes

2010-02-20T15:01:00.001-07:00

“Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” ~Albert Caumus

“Before you insult someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you insult them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.” -Frieda Norris

Love is a Puzzle

2010-02-14T14:09:00.000-07:00

I'm happy we put the first we pieces together.

Happy Valentines.... wait, you got me what?

2010-02-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

This could be a deal breaker.

I mean.... not a walk-out-of-the-room deal breaker.

But probably, I'm only going to call you when I feel like I'm missing a "bat-shit crazy chick" in my life.

Random Admission

2010-02-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

Let's start with a quote from a blog I read the other day:

"I guess he throws himself into everything he does that way, always over the top." -- BeAwesomeInstead

Sometimes I'm Ted. To really accomplish something, I have to drink the Kool-Aid. I have to be all in, or I don't think it will pan out.

As we all know, when you leap before you look, you get burned. But sometimes being burned proves you're alive.

Sometimes I'm Ted.

Blast from the Past: I Still Can't Fight It

2010-02-08T16:16:00.000-07:00

Today I'd say my love for coffee is stronger than it's ever been. Even on days when I don't need or want any stimulants, I still love coffee. Now that Lola Cafe is literally a three minute walk from my living room, I'm sure this is a love affair that will continue until one of us can't stand the other one. Even then, it will probably be coffee that breaks up with ME.

P.S.: I still want this on a T-Shirt. Or a headband, karate-kid style.

------------
From 8/28/08

One day, decades from now, I imagine I’ll be sitting around, telling stories to my grandkids about how we all used to queue up in lines in this little storefronts to by 20 ounces of caffeine and sugar and cream for $7 a pop. The kid will think these tales are outlandish because by then caffeine will be illegal and Starbucks will be thought of as a millennium version of the crack-house or opium den. I also think by then coke will be legal again and it’ll all make no sense..

Finally, a guide that makes sense

2010-02-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Future Self,

If you find yourself in need of this chart below, I do not blame you. We had a good run of it, lots of laughs and great stories to tell later on. I promise, self, that I won't shake my head in dismay that you've found yourself (us) in a place where you are once again debating size, cut, clarity, color, etc. Not to your (our) face at least. Since I'm pretty sure this day will eventually come, let me give you a little help now, while I'm still of sound mind & body.

Sincerely,

The Guy that Loves Being Awesome

If you don't love this movie, I don't know what's wrong with you.

2010-02-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

(500) Days of Summers rocks.

P.S.: High-Five Anie

Hooray for street-art

2010-02-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

(P.S.: high-five, babe.)

mmmmm mmmmm hood

2010-02-05T20:49:00.001-07:00

I love street art.

I love design

Mix the two and I'm ON IT!

holy crap this is a detailed tat

2010-02-04T23:54:00.000-07:00

I'm into cameras a lot, but not THIS into cameras.

I do, however, really like the contrast between the tattoo and the hazy depth-of-field background elements.

Newfoundland, really??

2010-02-03T19:53:00.002-07:00

This is pretty gross, but it's about Newfoundland, and that's pretty rare, so I decided to run it.

Know when to make things racy and when not to

2010-02-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sad Robot is sad

2010-02-02T23:05:00.000-07:00

and this is how they should all be.

damn robots

Robot-Apocalypse: It's Happening and YOU'RE paying for it

2010-02-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

Now this cannot be avoided. Semi-intelligent, can go on for 24-hours straight and carries weapons.

Start your stock-piling now.

From FastCompany:

Robocalypse Alert: Defense Contract Awarded to Scary BigDog
BY Kit EatonMon Feb 1, 2010

You remember BigDog, don't you? It's that loud all-terrain prototype robot quadruped that peopled your dreams with Terminator-esque nightmares when you saw the video. DARPA just awarded a $32 million contract to build it.
The contract's been won by maker Boston Dynamics, which has just 30 months to turn the research prototype machines into a genuine load-toting, four-legged, semi-intelligent war robot--"first walk-out" of the newly-designated LS3 is scheduled in 2012.
LS3 stands for Legged Squad Support System, and that pretty much sums up what the device is all about: It's a semi-autonomous assistant designed to follow soldiers and Marines across the battlefield, carrying up to 400 pounds of gear and enough fuel to keep it going for 24 hours over a march of 20 miles.
To remind you of the tech we're talking about, here's BigDog in a disarmingly "cute" promo video, kicking it on a beach in Thailand:
LS3 is a direct descendant of BigDog, and it'll be battle-hardened and clever enough to use GPS and machine vision to either yomp along behind a pack of troops, or navigate its own way to a pre-programmed assembly point. Yup, that's right, LS3 is smart enough to trot off over the horizon all on its lonesome. That opens up all sorts of amazing military possibilities, like resupply of materiel to troops who are deployed in difficult remote locations, as well as the standard "If LS3 can offload 50 pounds from the back of each soldier in a squad, it will reduce warfighter injuries and fatigue and increase the combat effectiveness of our troops" as described by BD's president Marc Raibert.
And its clear that these, and other, potential benefits have been proven to DARPA enough that it's prepared to fund what seems to be an extremely future-focused piece of military hardware. But LS3, of course, stands for much more than its simple "squad support" label would suggest. It's placing artificially-intelligent robots right next to soldiers on the battle field, which is a natural extension of the way robots are currently used in combat--essentially as smart remote control units for situations too dangerous for a human to risk. And in that sense, LS3 is a significant piece of kit. Because it won't be too long before someone considers the benefits of replacing its 400-pound load with a heavy gun, and LS32 becomes an AI-equipped armed battlefield robot. More terminator-dog than K9, you see.
Here's BigDog auto-tracking a human, just to give you an extra robocalyptic chill:
[BostonDynamics]

Sappy, yeah, just deal with it.

2010-01-31T14:01:00.001-07:00

I saw this quote on Micillo's blog recently and thought I'd borrow it.

The part that strikes me is where it says "is not self-seeking... keeps no record of wrongs". This is clearly something I didn't have the first time around. I was programmed to always try to have the advantage, to always be hostile, to be defensive lest I "get played". Tic for tac, battles won and lost, and in the end, I wasted 4 years of my life.

If I can do one thing to contribute to my future happiness, it should be to never again worry about tallying wrongs. If I feel that is something I have to do, I'm better off alone.

-----------------------

I know a lot of people use this quote, and it has become a sort of generic filler for love.

To my mind, however, I remember this quote as the one Marshall Ericson knew he wanted to have read at his wedding.

I really have no concept of what I'd want at a wedding. I've always imagined it was a day for the bride to be special and celebrated, and then we move on. Maybe, however, there's a crack in my cynicism now, and I'd imagine it as a day to exalt in the joy of having found "the one". (I guess you can't literally "na na boo boo" everyone and expect to get gifts for it)

To be continued....

Sure, they look cute now...

2010-01-31T07:53:00.000-07:00

...but trust me, nothing good can come of robots bonding with plants. It'll be the worst parts of The Matrix and The Happening combined.

Blast from the Past: Gnarls

2010-01-30T16:01:00.000-07:00

Really, who doesn't love Gnarls Barkley?

Admittedly, this video is a little weird, that's why I'm posting it on a Saturday.

Gotta say, I still really dig the message. I'm sure that whether I admit it or not, I'm probably still doing the same thing.
---------------
From 8/26/08:

Just watched this video for Gnarls Barkley (aka the best shit you can’t classify)
The concept is a little slow to get going but the truth makes up for any lackluster starts.
Check it out here

The Endorsement

2010-01-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

I've been loving this album all of this week and last week.

History
I freely admit, I've been a Wu-Tang fan since the summer before my junior year of high school when a teammate passed me Wu-Tang Forever to listen to on the bus-ride to school. After that, I was hooked and bought every Wu-Tang CD I could, blowing literally 1/2 my Burger King earnings on CD. To this date, Supreme Clientele is still one of my favorite albums (and the only one I actually have on vinyl, a souvenir of my first trip to NYC in 2000).

Conversely, I didn't really get into the Beatles until about 2007. It was a mix of The Grey Album, the Eleanor Rigby clip in "Accepted", and my eternal love of "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones that got me into looking up old British Invasion songs, and thusly Beatles songs. Right away I was a fan of "I Saw Her Standing There", and added it to my front of my playlist, (a good addition to all the Kinks & White Stripes songs I'd been working with).

Current
Then about 2 weeks ago, @Agent_M posted a link to "Enter the Magical Mystery Chambers", and two great things in my life were mashed up in the most delicious ways.

Right up front, you have to know that this cannot be compared to The Grey Album, mostly because you cannot compare this album collective of Wu-Tang songs from different eras to the The Black Album's continuity and polish. However, you can compare this album to ANY hip-hop album coming out anytime lately and see if the new can stack up.

The instrumentation on "Got Your Money" is great, the mixes are clean, and "Uzi" is such a mish-mash that it reminds me of the video for Triumph (2000), and I feel like I've instantly combined my 27 and 17 year-old selves. Every other songs is so mixed-up in the most wonderful of ways. Instead of trying to make everything fit smoothly, the songs, such as "Run" create a new identity complete different from the originals.

And really, who doesn't love the skit of ODB singing "Love Me Do"? There's a pretty simple formula:

ODB + Anything = Woot! Success

The other day @Agent_M told me that this NOT the greatest thing he'd ever linked, but I left it as "agree to disagree". Thanks, dude.

Future
Much like The Grey Album, however, I wouldn't expect this to be available for much longer before EMI drops a cease-and-desist on it's distribution, especially after the write-ups in New York Times and GQ. Get it while you can.

From the Times:

Q. Where did the inspiration for “Enter the Magical Mystery Chambers” come from?
A. This project came about unintentionally, really. I’d done a Large Professor remix album and an MF Doom one, and then I was starting on a Wu-Tang one. One of the tracks that’s on there, “R.E.C. Room,” I made a couple of years ago. I had this easy-listening record of this orchestra playing cover versions of lots of different ’60s stuff. It had this instrumental version of “Girl,” and the whole thing was just stunning. But I didn’t want to just take a little bit of it. I took the whole song, and sped it up to the right tempo, so it has the complete arrangement and feel of the original Beatles song. Then I made the “C.R.E.A.M.” remix. And then I was like, O.K., I’ve got two tracks now that have Beatles samples with Wu-Tang a cappellas. A few days later I found Ol’ Dirty Bastard talking on YouTube about how he was influenced by the Beatles. And I just thought: This is it.

Q.Could you walk us through the samples on one of the more complicated tracks?
A.“Uzi (Pinky Ring)” has got a lot of samples on it. There’s “Glass Onion,” then it went to an Arif Mardin version of “Glass Onion,” then when Ghostface comes in it goes to “Getting Better,” then RZA comes in and it’s a Ramsey Lewis version of “Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey.” Then Inspectah Deck comes in and it’s a cover version of “Hey, Jude.” Then Method Man comes in and that’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” And then GZA’s at the end, and that’s “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road.” I’ve seen on blogs, somebody say something like, I’ve only heard two Beatles samples that I recognized in here. And to me that’s quite a good thing – you have to listen extra hard to hear them. I was purposeful not to take “Love Me Do” and put Wu-Tang with it.

Q.While you were working on this, did anyone make the comparison between what you’re doing and Danger Mouse’s “Grey Album”?
A.Well, it’s obvious that those comparisons are going to get mentioned. I’ve got a copy of that. When it came out, a friend of mine gave it to me, and I thought it was cool. I didn’t listen to it loads of times, to be honest, and I don’t know it particularly well. I did listen to it in the final stages, because I knew that there were a couple of samples he had used, that I had also used. On “Encore” he use the same sample of “Glass Onion” that I use on “Uzi.” But that’s really it.

Combine Two of My Favorite Things

2010-01-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

I love this book like nobody's business. Shocking part; it took my at least a dozen attempts in my young life to get through it. I'd say this is probably because it's a book about children, but meant for adults. My aunt must have thought I was already that developed when she gave it to me nearly 20 years ago. At that time, I thought the only connection I had to that book was because my name means "the little king", which I took be a prince, and not a short ruler.

I digress....

I borrowed this amazing image from Micillo

Before this, I never knew how they made the leaf shape on top of my coffee

2010-01-28T13:39:00.000-07:00

Thanks Arizona Coffee for pointing it out.

(BTW, the second video on that site is fantastic)

#Zombietalk: Not a Plan I Recommend

2010-01-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

but if you can make it work, my hat's off to you, sir.

whoa, I may need to get this.

2010-01-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

Nerd-Cool Imperialism's Decline: A Chart

2010-01-27T19:05:00.001-07:00

Aside from the asexual-reproduction aspect, this visualization is pretty cool.

Never thought I'd quote this person

2010-01-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

but I read this quote somewhere else and it struck me as 100% true.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." "
— Marilyn Monroe

I have always thought that everything happens for a reason. I don't know if you'd attribute that to deep-rooted Catholicism, or a poor-boys wish for there to be something better in the works.

In my mid-twenties I started truly living on my own for the first time, and while dating people, making easy friends, moving from one circle to another, I questioned why things seemed so right with some people, but in the end I wasn't really interested. I came up with the theory that I was just supposed to come into that person's life to have some affect on them, then we were always supposed to move along.

In the end, maybe we are all just swimming around in the big ocean, and you may follow my route for a while, or my wave may push to towards or away from your goals, but in the end, maybe all this random floating and sailing will let us both end up in the best places possible.

Like Blackthought said "we knew from the start that things fall apart, and tend to shatter".

I should put something like this on the back of my business cards

2010-01-27T13:18:00.001-07:00

(BTW, if anyone needs anything designed/printed, check out eeko studios. Their stuff looks amazing)

Irony indeed

2010-01-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

You should probably do whatever you can to avoid option #3.

Not everyone gets a "When Harry Met Sally" second-chance.

Round-Up spray in my food.... bleh

2010-01-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

Anyone else watch Food, Inc and feeling pretty queasy about the way soybeans are grown? I know I never ate tofu really, but the concept that health-minded people are (unknowingly) consuming things that have been sprayed with Round-Up (yes, that's the same stuff you put on your weeds) is right up there with dipping your meat in bleach before you grill it.

Now I read this article on TreeHugger and just found out that cotton & corn crop are also predominately grown from genetically-modified seeds owned by Monsanto Corporation (makers of Round-Up), on the scale of 90% of the nation's total.

Mmmmm, nothing says Fourth of July like grilled corn that was repeatedly sprayed with herbicides....

But it gets better. A December 2009 independent study showed that three different types of GMO-corn from Monsanto have proven to cause organ damage in mammals. To quote the report:

The data “clearly underlines adverse impacts on kidneys and liver, the dietary detoxifying organs, as well as different levels of damages to heart, adrenal glands, spleen and haematopoietic system,” reported Gilles-Eric Séralini, a molecular biologist at the University of Caen.

This study confirmed precisely the results of a different 2007 study.

Oh yeah, these GMO's have already been approved for us to eat.

Yum

Random Admission

2010-01-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

Here's something I don't prescribe to; making lists of lists.

Recently I've been reading ProBlogger.com, and usually their articles are a mixed bag of real insights and "duh, I already know that, how did someone pay YOU to write that stuff?". But lately I've seen a few posts, such as today's "47 Lists of Bloggers to Watch". I mistakenly thought it read "List of 47 Bloggers to Watch" and clicked on it.

Nope, it was a list of previous lists.

That's an index, sir, and not a new work. Please stop parading it around as if it were new.

This guy knows his self-fulling prophecies

2010-01-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

Can you resist this?

2010-01-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Me either.

I need a dog.

Hope it's not the end for HIMYM in disguise

2010-01-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Just two weeks after "How I Met Your Mother" hit its 100th episode, series creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas have inked a rich new deal with the show's producer 20th Century Fox TV and are taking out a new comedy project, their first since "HIMYM."

Under the duo's new three-year pact, which begins in June, Bays and Thomas will continue to run "HIMYM" while also developing new projects.

Set in Pittsburgh, the hybrid multicamera romantic comedy revolves around a young couple and their friends.

" 'HIMYM' is about people in their late 20s and early 30s going through that second wave of growing up, and the ups and downs and the humor of that," Thomas said. "This is a logical extension."

Added Bays, "The new show is similar tonally to 'HIMYM' and investigates the next chapter, the next stage of adulthood."

The project is certain to spark interest when it hits the marketplace this week. But even if it takes off, Bays and Thomas vowed they will never abandon "HIMYM."

After a slow start, "HIMYM," which was based on the duo's personal experiences, has grown in into a bona fide hit for CBS as well as 20th TV, which has netted rich syndication deals for the show.

Also, it's clear now why I liked HIMYM from the start (besides Doogie):

Bays and Thomas landed at 20th some eight years ago when the twentysomething writers headed to Hollywood after a five-year stint on "Late Show With David Letterman."

Random Thought

2010-01-25T17:58:00.001-07:00

Today I am 10,110 days old.

How did I nearly miss such a binary-occassion?

Bad enough I missed my 10,101th day.

I'm losing nerd cred here I think.

HIMYM Cracked?

2010-01-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

The other day I was searching for any listing of music mentioned during How I Met Your Mother in an attempt to see if a sensible playlist could be made (am I a ridiculous fan of this show yet??), and stumbled across this blog from You Got Red on You:

Season 3 seems like the year when it’s all coming together for Ted. We are introduced to the yellow umbrella, which supposedly used to belong to the girl that Ted will eventually marry. Mid-season we also learn that Ted’s future wife was at the same St Patrick’s Day party that Ted attended, even though the two never met at this party. On the day following the party, Ted returns to the club looking for his lost cellphone, and leaves with an abandoned yellow umbrella, to shield himself from a sudden shower of rain. In the next episode we meet the supposed owner of this umbrella: Stella, who was at the party in question, who Ted tries to woo from the moment they meet, who Ted proposes to at the end of season 3, who accepts his proposal and who Ted is set to marry in season 4. With one little snag, of course: Stella leaves Ted at the altar, moving in with the father of her daughter instead. Oops.
But wait a second! The yellow umbrella is never mentioned while Ted and Stella are dating. And let’s face it, Stella and Ted’s kids don’t exactly look alike.
So, what’s with all these potentially misleading hints (and I’m not even including “The Goat” in all of this)? Who was the owner of the yellow umbrella, the future wife that Ted supposedly never bumped into at the St Patricks party? Going by previous story arcs, the writers most certainly did more than simply plant misleading seeds. Which makes it all the more interesting that, for no reason at all, Ted actually does bump into somebody at the party: a girl who certainly looks like she is related to Ted’s kids. They exchange a quick “Excuse me” – “No problem”, and also share a quick but meaningful look. That look:

Okay, so it’s just a freeze frame in DVD quality. But I’m having fun here, and TV time is too precious to ever be wasted on unimportant scenes! I have no idea if the writers really were thinking this far in advance, let alone would cast a part as important as this one way ahead of time. But HIMYM has proven to be very well planned out, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they did (Ted is drunk in this scene, too, which can be used to explain away a few discrepancies later).

So, hmmmm.

I am still of the camp that Victoria, who made the cake at Lily & Marshall's wedding will be "the one". It would make sense. Maybe she came back from Germany and has been hiding from Ted. I mean, if the mother is better than Rachel Bilson, and can't be Robin, Lily or Winnie Cooper, than I'm not sure who's left by the cupcake gal.

Then again, maybe I'm just hoping it ends that way because I love cupcakes. Maybe the dude above is right. If so, this would have to be the most awesome rare-glimpse lead-in ever.

Or maybe it ends that Ted and the mother never married, and/or Ted & Barney took their bro-love to another level. Who knows.

Hopefully tonight gives some insight.

3 Second Rule Chart

2010-01-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

Turns out the stairways wasn't to heaven

2010-01-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

sadly, it's so hot here that I've seen several street signs that look like this one.

Enjoy the winter while it last. You know what's coming soon.....

If you need help, I'll be behind you.

2010-01-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

Pick you Poison

2010-01-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

I love coffee and caffeine, and have no plans to eliminate either one. But sometimes it's good to have a little bit of knowledge in your pocket. I, however, never would have thought Starbucks > Redbull.

Random Admission

2010-01-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish my girlfriend liked comic books, sorta like Rosario Dawson does.

But for now I'll call it even that my girlfriend at least doesn't view my fandom as a character flaw.

(please note, I did not say "I wish I had a different girlfriend", at any time.)

(except maybe Rosario Dawsom; maybe I'll put her in my five)

What would you take?

2010-01-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

I recently solved a problem that's been bouncing around in my head.

If you had 60 seconds to escape a fire, what would you grab?

I would take:
- Anie (hopefully she can walk, but I might have to fireman's carry her, since she likes to wake-up slow)
- my phone, to call my brother
- my copy of The Little Prince with the inscription from my Aunt
- the rosary from my Grandmother than hung next to my bed when I was a kid
- the racecar toy I played with as a kid
- the baseball I bought as Yankee stadium; these last to so that I could pass them on to my son.

Every single other item I own can burn brightly. It'd be a sucky loss, but I'd get by.

Sometimes it's a raw deal

2010-01-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

The Beatles' weren't exactly right. Love isn't ALL you need.
Shelter & Water are important, too, I think.

We all have our reasons to care

2010-01-22T12:52:00.001-07:00

Clearly, by "martini" I mean "Manhattan", but you get the idea.
Now go do something about it.

everything in moderation

2010-01-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

I love cookies.
This is an illustration of a hazard I must avoid.
Nobody likes the sloppy morning-after.

If I met this girl in real life, she might steal my heart.

2010-01-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

if she has a penguin shirt on and/or quotes The Little Prince, I would lose my shit and prolly run away with her.

Yes, cupcakes are that legit with me.

Jon Stewart > Glenn Beck

2010-01-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

When someone does a better "you" than you do, it's time to pack it in.

That's exactly what Jon Stewart (yup, the Big Daddy dude) does to red-state minstrel Glenn Beck right here.

I dedicate this one to my good, confused frenemy @Bruherd.

Link, in case the video won't work

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The 11/3 Project

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Why I Love Letterman

2010-01-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

I read this morning that Leno is trying to take the villain-heat off of him by re-igniting his rivalry with Letterman. Leno's shot last night, "how to get Letterman to ignore you? Marry him!".

This is pretty typically lame, as per my expectations of Jay Leno's humor.

Compare that to what Dave said about himself on his own show in October, and you'll see why Leno can never pack enough punch in comparison.

I might ride this to the market....

2010-01-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

Whoa, take a look at that bad-boy in action.

According to TreeHugger, the Nijland (crazy Swedes and their product names) can carry up to 1,100 pounds of cargo, and it as easy to ride as a bike.

I could see myself riding up to the Safeway or AJ's, and hitching this monster to a post to get my weekly shopping done. Even better, maybe I could hook a sail to it....

New Banksy in Park Slope, UT

2010-01-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

Man, I wish I was at Sundance this week. I'd probably spent the whole week alternating between awestruck by the filmes, and sleuthily scanning the crowds to see if I could spot the man who made this last night:

Why we should be concerned about Global Climate

2010-01-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

The Summer Olympics did a good job trying to hide how polluted cities in China are. Many of us probably wanted to ignore it and think "yeah, well that's China, that's not here".

Well, take a look at what's really happening.

Yup, those of us living in Phoenix, LA, San Diego, etc, have been breathing in that lovely, unfiltered pollution as it blows around the world.

Thanks China, and thanks Bush & Obama for not pushing for tougher global standards. My lungs love you guys!

How did I not know about this awesomeness coming?

2010-01-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

While spell-checking a name for another post, I found myself on IMDB and couldn't help but click the Malin Akerman link. Afterall, she is unbelievably gorgeous without seeming unnatural. All in all, she's a pretty good contender to be my third wife.

Well that link led me to a film called "HappyThankYouMorePlease". This little ditty is written & directed by Josh Radnor, aka none-other-than Mr. Theodore Moseby himself, and stars both Malin Akerman and every-fan's-dream-girl Kate Mara.

The synopsis of the film goes:

Captures a generational moment - young people on the cusp of truly growing up, tiring of their reflexive cynicism, each in their own ways struggling to connect and define what it means to love and be loved.

That's where I get both excited and miffed, because that's pretty much the exact road I've been on for the last 4 years, since the dissolution of my first marriage, new-found freedom, disillusionment with societal expectations, trips, falls, cliff-dives and soaring new heights. I'm excited to see a project along the same lines, but not in the flavor of HIMYM The Movie, but wondering why nobody reached out to me to write this bad boy. I could have wrote the shit out of this film. I could dictate a painfully awkward scene with one side of my mouth, while telling a "hell yeah that was an awesome time" story on the other side.

I guess the real reason I decided to write this was because I hadn't fully grasped before that what I've been experiencing is a "generational moment". I imagined that my loss of cynicism, and my opening views were a product of my own journey and my own abilities.

Hmmmmm

2010-01-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

Banksy Movie

2010-01-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Banksy + Movie

Two words I've loved separately, but never thought of putting together.

Then I saw the trailer below and got hyped beyond imagination.

I'm really not sure how you do a Banksy movie without revealing who he is, but I'm very excited to see the massive OBEY head about half-way through. Shepard Fairey + Bansky. That's like DiMaggio & Teddy Ballgame on the same field.

Can't wait to hear what people say when it debut's next week at Sundance.

#zombietalk awful scenario

2010-01-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Let us go home and pray this never happens.

Or if it must, let it be lame Christian Bale / Batman, not a better one.

Weird Conversation from this Morning

2010-01-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

On the way into work/my place this morning, Anie & I were discussing Monday's episode of HIMYM (which was awesome, BTW. You should check it out if you haven't already), and right away, the first topic Anie wanted to bring up was this quote:

“Which would mean ... I didn’t get super wasted and throw up all over myself. Oh wait, I did both of those things! Soo ... face.” -- Ted Moseby

Now, I love my girlfriend's unorthodox sense of humor, but some people would be caught off-guard by vomit related conversations at 8am. Nope, not us. That baby kept right on rolling, and ended somewhere along the lines of "well Ted might not be, but I'm vomit free since '03".

Just kidding, but not really, because I am.

Too....Much....Win...

2010-01-21T09:25:00.001-07:00

Adidas, B-Boys, Becks, Snoop, Vader... this commercial hits on like 33% of the things I like.

Cheesy but I have to say it

2010-01-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

This girl really wants me to push her buttons.

Not sure that's a comfortable place to be pushed, but I'll break out the ol' A-B-B-A-Up-Down-Up-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-Start-Select when needed.

Roger Ebert: Proof Chicago isn't ALL wrong.

2010-01-20T15:49:00.001-07:00

"All hail Avatar, yes, but the year's best picture? Give me a f--king break." —Roger Ebert

Random Quotes I've enjoyed

2010-01-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

"I like stories. I like them even better when they help me achieve sinister aims." -- World's Strongest Librarian

"Movies & Hugs. That's the name of my game." - Anie

'Leave the gun, bring the cannoli" -- Peter Clemenza

" Who wants to know how to divide fractions? I spit on fractions"-- World's Strongest Librarian

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd bang Sally Fields." -- Self

"There are only two types of stories. Stories where somebody arrives, and stories where somebody leaves." -- Unknown

"So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, and make our escape. After I kill Count Rugen." -- Inigo Montoya (what list isn't improved by a little Inigo??)

Where you rank

2010-01-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

Weirdly, Pac-Man only fights one of these bad boys. Hmmmm.... Pac-Man/Blade hybrid? That'd be fun.

Why the present/future can be scary good

2010-01-20T01:39:00.001-07:00

Those Credit Card bills getting you down?

2010-01-19T23:32:00.000-07:00

At least you didn't buy anyone THIS for Christmas:

Need Some Motivation

2010-01-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't been working on your "Things To Flee From" ability, here's a little extra help. You can clip this bad-boy out and put it wherever you want (near the treamill, by the front door, on the refrigerator door so you don't reach for that Ben & Jerry's...wherever).

Who's the king now...

2010-01-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people want you to applaud them for doing what they were supposed to do anyways.

Sometimes those people need to be put in their place.

I recommend going this route.

Try it today, tell me what results you get. Good ones, I bet.

Anderson Cooper: Action Hero

2010-01-19T07:37:00.002-07:00

Way to go Andy.

How to Play Pictionary

2010-01-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

As anyone who's participated in Family Game Night can attest, these instructions are much more accurate than the ones that originally came with the box.

Quote from a blog I like

2010-01-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

"I will not dream the dreams of other men." -- WorldsStrongestLibrarian.com

He's right. While we should each draw inspiration from others, my road is my own. Our roads may cross, they may run parallel, but nobody has walked every step of the way but me, so in the end, the adventures and the destination are wholly mine alone.

I'm reminded of a story I read in a biography of Julius Caesar. Even Caesar, they say, once wept at a statue of Alexander the Great, feeling that he'd achieved so little in comparison. Of course, Caesar went on to trigger an empire that far surpassed anything anyone before had achieved, and did it in a way that nobody else had done.

I don't really know how to end this, guess I'm still pondering.....

We all look up to greatness

Monday Morning Compliment

2010-01-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

I probably should have posted this one the morning after #nopantsaz, but oh well. Hope you have a great week.

Pretty sure I need one of these.

2010-01-17T19:40:00.001-07:00

I've got the perfect spot picked out in my living room already.

Made entirely from water hyacinth & rattan, the chair comes with an LED bulb in the upper section. Conscience-free seating would be a great spot to finish reading "The Omnivore's Dillema" in.

I'm concerned though, that their website doesn't list a price, so I may have to figure out a way to weave my own wicked cool seat.

Edit: Nevermind. They e-mailed me back with the price quote. $738 US, on sale for $550 US. $550 for what's basically a bunch of grass and a light-bulb!

Shelf/Book Tree?

2010-01-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

This is actually kinda impressive to me. I'd use this idea if someone could come up with a way to include ornaments and/or lights without seeming cheesy.

Quote from a blog I like

2010-01-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

"It's impossible to explain a wave to someone standing on the shore." -- GwenBell.com

This summarizes some of the problems I had when first trying to understand why the company I work for would want to engage with people on/via Twitter, and now, come full circle, clearly illustrates the problem I have expressing to people above me why we should do more than try to engage via one medium only.

I'm certain that my situation is unique because I'm not in PR, not a PIO, or web-designer, or in any field that is commonly thought of as one that spreads the message, but I am one of the many people with the authority & accountability to solve problems for our Customers, and have a decade of experience in that field. Now my labor is to try to convince others, who are completely foreign to the concepts of Social Media, to work step-by-step, instead of just focusing on scouting for the One Big Wave.

So far, I have only suceedly slightly, but I have seen that I'm not alone, as multiple discussions and new programs have shot up, triggered by the vaules of direct relationships with each of our Customer, and user-generated content.

Maybe they're not on the shore anymore, maybe they're just boogie-boarding.

This piece is just amazing

2010-01-16T20:19:00.002-07:00

From Vhils in Moscow, via woostercollective.com

I stole this from someone else's linkedin page

2010-01-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

A highly organized - tech savvy - business minded - forward thinking - creative problem solver, with a proven ability to influence partners, processes, and procedures to ensure operational success. With a combination of direct communication, humor, and technical expertise, as well as an eye for operational consistency, I have had significant impact on the companies and people I have worked with. I value relationships as well as results.

Ooooh, you had me until that last part. Everything else sounds like a much better-looking version of what I call "making it happen".

@dustpar (Dusty Parsons), hope you don't mind me borrowing your words. Maybe link back will make it even.

Huxley Vs. Orwell

2010-01-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

So damn true. I just finished "Brave New World" a few months ago and it does seem very much like the world we're in. When I went to see Avatar 3D I swore I was 1 step away from a "feelie".

This guy may have greatest job ever.

2010-01-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

Damn, what can you say wrong about penguins? They're like the Meerkats of Antarctica.

This is clearly a lie

2010-01-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

and if I ever find out who wrote it, I'll want to stab them. Then feed them to a snake, and see if people can guess it's a douchebag inside a snake.

Random Quotes from Blogs I read tonight

2010-01-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

"although I’m sassy in text, I am ridiculously timid about making requests. My askus requestus muscle is highly underdeveloped." -- ProBlogger

"It is juju love and cupcakes or nothing, baby." -- ProBlogger

"I’ve itemized and analyzed what I did differently in the last two months just so I could whisper sexy blog secrets in your ear." -- ProBlogger

Yeah, I was pretty limited in scope tonight. Hopefully all this reading about writing will yield some improvement. Then again, the main reason I write is to get down on paper the winds that are blowing through my mind as is, so... any investment must be a good investment.

Whoa, this dude loves math

2010-01-14T23:41:00.000-07:00

this guy must really love Pi.

And thus it begins....

2010-01-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

“Android Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters, coming soon. In the vein of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and “Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters.”

Bye-Bye, Jane. Hello, Leo: Quirk Books Takes on Anna Karenina in Next Quirk Classic!
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters coauthor Ben H. Winters is back with an all-new collaborator, legendary Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy, and the result is Android Karenina (Quirk Books, $12.95, June 8, 2010)—an enhanced edition of the classic love story, now set in a dystopian world of robots, cyborgs, and interstellar space travel.
As in the original novel, our story follows two relationships: The tragic adulterous love affair of Anna Karenina and Count Alexei Vronsky, and the more hopeful marriage of Nikolai Levin and Princess Kitty Shcherbatskaya. These characters live in a steampunk-inspired world of robotic butlers, clumsy automatons, and rudimentary mechanical devices. But when these copper-plated machines begin to revolt against their human masters, our characters must fight back using state-of-the-art 19th-century technology—and a sleek new model of ultra-human cyborgs like nothing the world has ever seen.
Filled with the same blend of romance, drama, and fantasy that made the first two Quirk Classics New York Times best sellers, Android Karenina brings this celebrated series into the exciting world of science fiction.
LEO TOLSTOY wrote two of the greatest novels in world literature: War and Peace and Anna Karenina. BEN H. WINTERS is coauthor of the New York Times best seller Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, which was hailed by The Onion A.V. Club as a “sheer delight” and by Library Journal as “strangely entertaining, like a Weird Al version of an opera aria.” Mr. Winters lives in Brooklyn.

They could come in any size

2010-01-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

For #zombietalk today, I present you this, with a reminder; they could come in any shape or size. Are you prepared for Zombie Toddler?

Team Co Co.... lol

2010-01-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

1.) I think this is a pretty great illustration. I'm not sure if Conan is supposed to look presidential, or patriotic, or what-not, but it's a pretty sharp job.

2.) As a long-term Letterman fan, I thoroughly support anyone who's Anti-Leno.

De-clutter

2010-01-13T10:11:00.001-07:00

I know that one of my traits that drives Anie at least a little nuts is my faux-minimalism. This usually manifests itself in my ideaology, and in my purchasing habits. It's not that I buy a lot less stuff than the average person; my bank account is solid evidence that I definitely stimulate the local economy.

What I do do, however, is audit my purchases before I get to the register, asking myself if a really need/want each item more than the equivalent number of dollars it will cost. (This has to be a habit I picked up from my mother, though I know she was doing it to make sure she could still pay for everything in the cart.)

After spending more than enough time in the store, I will go through the cart and decide to remove a few items (sometimes the only items I contributed to the cart), and will get the "well why did we just waste the time picking that out, then" look from you-know-who.

The other probably-weird-to-outsiders manifestation is the ease with which I can part with items. I'd like to say that this stems from a childhood of limited resources and having to get over losing things when they break/get lost, but it's probably more likely that I have such an easy time deleting people from my life that regular old objects never stood a chance. When I recent thought "what would be the one item I'd grab in case of a fire", the thing I needed besides my phone is the Yankee Stadium Baseball I plan to use to teach my future-son how to patch catch with (thank-you Anie). Other than that, I can pretty much shrug off everything else I own.

This, I thought, was a pretty solid accomplishment, until I ran across this guy's blog. Dude is living his entire life from the road, in supposedly random countries, as voted on my his blog readers. As a necessary evil of this everyday Rick Steve's lifestyle, one can't carry much with them, especially with shipping/luggage costs.

As a minimalist, it’s important that my possessions do not own me and that what I do own serves multiple purposes, is high-quality and as sustainable as possible. . . So as part of my effort to further reduce and optimize my possessions, here is a list of everything I own and photos of those items. Already many items on this list are on the chopping block, as I haven’t used them in the 2 months I’ve been in Buenos Aires and doubt I’ll use them for the rest of my stint in Argentina.

Seriously, 72 things. Whoa!

That got me thinking about how much stuff I have that really could stand to organize or obliterate. Just looking around me, here's a list of things either on, or within 12 inches of, my desk.

Computer (monitor, keyboard, mouse, mouse pad, speakers, headphones)
copious random papers
never used candle in a jar
pens
envelopes & stationary
random cd's
unused gift cards from x-mas
several Yankees Startling Lineup action figures
hookah my brother gave me for X-Mas 2008 (thanks Eggs)
olde tyme wind-up alarm clock from IKEA
windex (no lie)
iron
empty photo frames
afore-mentioned Yankee Stadium Baseball
cordless drill
drill bit set
old computer (no longer working it seems)
cushion to a chair I no longer own
iPhone stand & charger
vase full of corks from wine bottles I've drank while living here
massive corkscrew (I need the one with the levers on the sides, otherwise I shred the cork)
Globe-shaped liquor decanter (empty)
random 3" action figure/keychain bought at Red Hot Robot.
Cigar cutter

So, 24 things within 1 foot of me, and that dude only owns 72 things on the entire planet.

This has led me to think that maybe I should institute an Items Per Room (IPR for you analytics nerds) limit to each room of my home. I'd have to exclude artwork and books/movies, as those things should really be wall-based. Maybe limit to 50 Items Per Room? That sounds achieveable. Maybe start at 75 then audit down again in a month?

I'm going to mull this over and see what kind of numbers I can come up with.

I'd wear this shirt UNDER a suit

2010-01-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

that way I'd look dapper no matter what happened.

Great Film Illustrations

2010-01-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

I saw all these on this the terribly-under-updated blog. Great re-imaginings here. I'm sure you can tell that I love old-school design based on these.

(Weird that Rain Man looks way more menacing than the first two, no?)

Five Things: Random Topics Still Bounching Around in My Head

2010-01-12T14:30:00.001-07:00

1.) Eating better. True, I always have a great time at the Phoenix Public Market, and have been reading the "Abs Power Diet" book from Men's Health (can the title be any more "buns of steel"-esque?) but now it's up to me to put this into practice. On nights when Anie's around, it's pretty easy, since she does a great job motivating me to cook usually. The challenge will be the nights when I get home from the office late and really just want a sandwich on the way home.   Add to all this the part about me & Anie watching "Food INC" last week and now feeling guilty about eating factory-meats and such.

2.) Calling Cards (or personal business cards). Yes, I've been thinking about this since Nov 2008 and still haven't taken action, but hopefully now I've found a good source (both in performance and business ethics), and can meet with my resident branding specialist to get something accomplished.

3.) Writing.   I like to pretend that I'm a pretty decent writer and that the only thing holding me back is my lack of ambition and/or resources. I say "like to pretend" to make it sound like less of an embarassing admission of truth. Sorta like "oh, Jake just likes to pretend like he's Superman and jumps off of things pretending they're really high", as opposed to "poor Jake, he actually thinks he's Superman. That body-cast has to be itchy". See the difference? In truth, if I could write fulltime, be it for a magazine, blog, my own novels, random people on the street, whatever, I'd be pretty happy doing it. I don't know that I could enjoy the solitary hours of a writer, but I suppose there's always Twitter for that.

4.) My nerd-crush on Tina Fey. Yup, that one's not going anywhere anytime soon.

5.) Leading by example.   This one is pretty tough to illustrate for you here, (or for myself, for that matter), but more than anything I've been kicking myself these last 2-3 months thinking "I really need to start leading by example", both at work and at home. It's time to get up off my duff and really make things happen.

Happy Monday Morning

2010-01-11T07:15:00.002-07:00

Here's a quick pic to start off the week, and it's even starring two of my favorite things:

1.) Penguins
2.) Photo-bombing.

Enjoy

Some quick animal-math for you.

2010-01-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

Movies 2009; or "Yes, another damn list"

2010-01-10T14:23:00.001-07:00

In chronological order

Movies I saw and liked in 2009:
- Watchmen    (yes, that's right. I was not until March that I saw a movie that was worth $9)
- I Love You, Man
- Earth
- Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (dude, I'm telling you, the first 20 minutes is a handbook in life)
- X-Men Origins: Wolverine

- Drag Me to Hell
- The Hangover
- (500) Days of Summer
- GI Joseph   (I went into it expecting fx & action & ninja-fights, and I got what I wanted)
- Julie & Julia    (mostly because of the brownie points it earned me)
- Jennifer's Body
- Whip It
- Zombieland
- Couples Retreat
- 2012   (same low-expectations as GI Joe)
- It's Complicated
- Sherlock Holmes

Movies I saw even though I should have known better:
- Underworld 3
- Taken
- He's Just not that into You
- Adventureland
- X-Men Origins: Wolverine
- The Ugly Truth
- Funny People
- Sorority Row
- Everybody's Fine    (I maintain that the adverts for this movie lied to people)
- Avatar/Pocahantas

Movies I rented and regretted;

- Fanboys
- The Haunting in Connecticutt
- Obsessed
- I Love you Beth Cooper   (what can I say, I'm a sucker for the cheerleader)
- Blood: The Last Vampire
- The Goods

Movies I watched because they were the only on while on a plane:
-Paul Blart

So that comes out to 17 wins, 10 losses. If I was playing in the NFC, that'd be good enough for a first-round bye. All together, not bad, I suppose, but I went to the movies a lot less than I did in 2007 & 2008, and there are lots of good movies that I never got to see (District 9, 9 by Tim Burton, Moon, Boondock Saints 2, Cloudy...).

Resolutions:
- See more good movies
- Find more movie-buddies for great films Anie has no interest in watching

whoa-lly crap, another one?

2010-01-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

Almost as good as the first one, if not as literal (literary, lol).

Another tattoo depicting my favorite children's book, "The Little Prince".