I told her she'd like it.

Lol, click the link to see more. 

No, it's not that, you're nasty.

But I do like where you're head's at.

Major 2009 Films, all in 7 Min?

Sure, why not.

(may contain some spoilers).

This Guy Wins teh Interwebz today.

LOL-truth in Advertising

I kinda liked the new iPod commercial (hated the product, but liked the commercial).
Then these guys explained why I liked it.

Random tweets from other people

cupcake could be a euphemism for brains. From now on, when yelling at stupid people, I will say "use your cupcake!"
                                                                    - @bossypally




----------------------------


Epic! overheard in the office: I'd rather load a shotgun full of ninja stars and shoot myself in the vagina then do this
                                                                    - @baybdoli

Pretty Awesome Short Film

after I watched this I thought:

1.) This 5 min film with no dialogue has a lot more plot progression and commentary than most 90-120 min movies I've watched in the last few years.
2.)  That's a lot of scenes to have to shoot three times each.
3.)  Damn, why'd everything have to get fucked up like that?
4.)  Brunettes rock.

Enjoy

Tell me this is not possibly the greatest thing ever

Shredder Hoodie!!!

I mean, just look at the 1 review it's already gotten:

Pros: Comfortable, Flattering, Great Colors, Soft, Stylish

Best Uses: Casual Wear, Night Out, Special Occasions, Wear To Work

Obligatory Year-in-Review Facts

New York is one of probably only 2 or 3 cities I'd ever leave Phoenix for.  Every second I've spent in NYC has been a discovery, including many personal discoveries.  From the bare brick fascades to the places where millions of people before you have been (I saw the freaking pew where George Washington went to pray immediately after being sworn in, for God sakes), my trips have made it pretty clear that the worst thing we lack in Phoenix is our collective history.  Maybe that's why I love living downtown.  All the old houses, all the re-purposed buildings that still keep the neighborhoods vibrant.  Coffee at the Gold Spot, cocktails at Hanny's.  Walking down my block and it's clear that this road was meant for the old colonial-style houses that used to make Portland Park a place to be.  I despise urban sprawl's effect to push us farther from each other and people who buy into the concept of wanting to live their entire lives in suburbs.  If that's what you really want, move to a small town.

I live in the city because I want to LIVE the city, not just sleep, eat and work here.



P.S.  I also love sweet potatoes, Alicia.

No Lie, this is one of my favorite videos of all time.

Maybe because I've been a Mos Def fan since 98, and probably also because I have trouble thinking of many Alicia Keys songs I don't like.  But primarily, the message of the song is awesome.  To think that you're living in the big city, going about your daily business and you probably pass by dozens if not hundreds of people, and you only really know a few of them, if any.  And you may never know that there was that one shy person who could have totally been the right match.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJiLcNQdye4

100 things about me. Parts 1 - 25

I stole the concept of this list from another blog  (brainyjane22.wordpress.com), but the facts below are all adapted to be true about me.

1. I was born May 22nd, 1982.  My mother spent 24-hours in labor with me before I was shorn from her womb like McDuff. 
2. I really like juice boxes.  I'm neutral on Capri Suns.  I wish someone made a 40oz juice box.
3. Buying books gives me a high.
4. My favorite fruit is oranges, but I eat strawberries and bananas more often
5. I want to visit Israel, London and Madrid. I never want to go back to Mexico.
6. In high school we frequently convinced the bus driver to take us thru the McDonald's drive-thru.
7. My favourite ‘kid friendly’ joke is still the "frayed knot" one.
8. “What up!” (channeling Barney Stinson) is my favourite thing to yell when I’m excited
9. I can play the piano only in my dreams.  I also solve crimes in my dreams and once dated Golda Meir & Gweneth Paltrow simultaneously. 
10. I’m much more productive in the summer, which further proves my theory that I am solar powered.
11. I think Janet Jackson is either overrated or underemployed.  I feel the same about a lot of "pop stars"
12. I have a tin star.  Not sure that makes me a real law man.
13. I apologize many times, but rarely say "I'm sorry" unless I really am.
14. I do not own a Dave Matthew's cd.  Why own a song that sounds like my GF in her sleep.
15. I prefer Cat Stevens to Sheryl Crow, but I would not like to be named Cat.
16. I can only wear watches for a limited timespan.  I'm glad beepers/cellphones were invented to tell time.
17. I can do the robot, but I also greatly fear robot-apocolypse.
18. When I don’t think I’ve explained myself as clearly as I could have, I use my hands to chop the conversation and take control back.
19. My mother always liked carnations.  I don't understand girls who hate them.
20. I like to say I'm excellent at roulette.  I am not excellent at making ballsy bets, though.
21. I’m excellent at talking without saying anything.
22. I love bacon like nobody's business.
23. i like extremely violent weather.  387 days of sun each year will do that do you.
24. I always fall asleep on road trips.  Even "road trips" to the corner store.
25. John Krasinski is no Martin Freeman.  This is the reason The Office is horrible here.

I know I haven't listened to really anything you've offered at all lately.  I wholly admit I've been going around, catching up on early decade rock-and-roll and wondering what I missed over there, and probably feeling too gentrified to still relish your grit and drive.  And yes, I very rarely rock my Wu-Tang hoodie or watch BET anymore.

Bottom line, though, I used to love hip-hop, and I still debate the fling every now and again.


Then when I hear something like the song below, or a really tough Jay-Z or Ghostface track, it's like I'm 17 again, living in the hood, going across town to go to school, working downtown and finding my way in the world all over again.

Am I a prodigal son?  Or a turncoat?  Or a sellout?  I'm pretty sure my falling out with hip-hop is pretty clearly related to my moves to better neighborhoods and away from the hardships I used to have to live with.  Nowadays it's pretty odd to imagine living out the lyrics to your average hip-hop song, but a decade ago, that's pretty much what I was doing. The highs and the lows and the pie-in-the-sky optimism were elements that narrated my regular circles. 

I don't really know that this is a question with any better answer than to just enjoy a song.

Random Quote from a Blog I like

"Also, I would just like to give a quick geography lesson.  “Across the pond” was defined as an award for non-North Americans.  Almost half of the people nominated were Canadians!  Canada is not non-North America.  Canada is very much North America.  Canada shares a very large border with the US. Canada is America’s Hat."

                                                                                                                       -- From 20SB's blog.

Because I just love this video...

1.)  I am Catholic
2.)  I am thoroughly Zionist
3.)  I don't know how far back, but my paternal ancestors were thoroughly Hebrew.  C'mon, "Glass" is a pretty clear indicator
4.)  I just think this video is really funny.

Someday this is the only way to express yourself

What do clocks look like in YOUR house?

CP:  Did you microwave that tamale for 1:70?
Me: 1:70? ::puzzled::
CP:  Yeah, 1:70.  It says 2 minutes but I just did it for 1:70 and it was fine.
Me: Your microwave lets you do 1:70?
CP:  170 seconds.  Just under 2 minutes.
Me:  ::::more puzzled::::
CP:  Oh….. not 1:70…. I get it.  60 seconds, ha ha.  Ok. I mean, I put it in for 200…
Me:  You mean 2 minutes?
CP:  200 seconds
Me:  ::::am I the one that doesn't understand time??::::
CP:  200 is 2 minutes, right?  I just put if for 200 and stopped it with 30 seconds left, so that’s like 170, right?
Me:  2 minutes is 120 on my microwave. What’s your microwave look like?
CP:  Well I just put it for 200 and stopped it when it said 30…
Me:  …..we’re not putting you in charge of any countdowns.

Real Convo

From 5/23, but still applies.

Gf: "but where's your next blog that I'm in?"
me: "I don't seem to have one this week."
Gf: "that is wierd...."

Adventures in Sandwiches

Subway Girl*:  (points to card machine)  Is not working, is fine.
Me:  ::::hmmmm::::
SG:  It’s stuck.  See, nothing.  Is fine.
Me:  uhhh   (what does this mean??)
SG:  Is not working, is fine
Me:  ok   (do I just leave??)
SG:  Yeah
Me:  uhhh…
SG:  Is not working
Me:  (about to leave)
SG:   Oh, is working.  Let me see card again.
Me:  ::damn, there goes a free sandwich::

* this particular Subway girl has a crush on me that usually results in me getting better sandwiches and free cookies.

Hottest Women to Ever Play a Comic Character in Film

in order


1.)      Julie Newmar - Catwoman  
2.)      Malin Akerman - Silk Spectre
3.)      Michelle Pfieffer - Catwoman
4.)      Famke Jannsen - Jean Grey
5.)      Devon Aoki - Suki
6.)      Kirsten Dundst - Mary Jane Watson
7.)      Gweneth Paltrow - Pepper Potts
.
.
.
16.)     Liz Tyler - Betsy Ross (waaayy better than Jennifer Connely)
17.)     Bryce Dallas Howard - Gwen Stacy  (not enough screen time)




**Eartha Kitt was only Catwoman on TV, otherwise she'd be #2 or #3.  Similar technicalities blocked Lynda Carter.   She can still lasso me if she wants.

If we don't knock this over soon, in 3,000 years, people will find this and stare at it, just like we do with Stonehenge

I have it on good authority (@Agent_M) that 1 out of every 13,400 bananas is actually a Sharkana.

Watch out.

This MUST be Marvel's Christmas present to me

IronMan 2 trailer.

- Tony Stark
- Scarlett as Black Widow
- Nick Fury not hidden at the end of a movie
- Mickey Rourke looks badass as the villian
- WarMachine in action

This is so much win!

True Christmas Spirit

Way to go Google.

A Chart to Learn.

If you don't learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it. I suggest you learn today before they write a song about you.

Merry Christmas to All

finally Michael Bay makes something worthwhile.

Enjoy

all stolen info, I don't know if it's true, but let's assume it is.

• In medieval England jurors weren't fed until they reached a decision.
• The Chinese used to scatter firecrackers around the house - as fire alarms.
• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
• A child laughs about 400 times per day. Adults laugh about 15 times.
• The blood vessels of a blue whale are so wide that an adult trout could swim through them.
• Some beaver dams are more than 1,000 years old.
• Male hospital patients fall out of bed twice as often as female patients.
• 25% of Americans think Sherlock Holmes was a real person.
• The leading cause of death in Papua, New Guinea is falling out of a tree.
• Babies are born without kneecaps.
• In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
• Los Angeles is 2cm closer to San Fransisco than it was a year ago.
• In her entire lifetime, Queen Isabella of Spain (1451-1504) bathed twice. King Louis XIV bathed three times.
• Per capita, the cities of Winnipeg and CALGARY drink the most Slurpees in the world.
• More than 50% of all the lakes in the world are in CANADA
• Belgians once tried to deliver mail using cats. (It didn't work.)

Yes, kiddos, everyone is an asshole.  Some might even be asswholes.  Get used to it.

Whoa, no!!

When the Storm Troopers have time to sing in the rain, shit's done been fucked.

Another sweet graph to start your week off right.

If you could turn this bird into a penguin, I'd be hard-pressed not to get this tattoo.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I don't particularly like Anime, but this photo just seemed so bad-ass.

Life Lessons: In Case of Attack

how cool would it be if a got a drawing of the chemical compound for Gunpowder and had it tattooed on my bicep?  pretty cool is what I'm thinking.

I would totally own one of these, today.

Themes in this image I do NOT really like:
- Halloween
- Traffic\
- Curbs

Themes in this image I DO really like:
- Street Art
- Candy Corn
- Blurry-ness

Had one of those deeply explorative relationship convo's last night, and while today I feel drained and conflicted about my own life goals, I am happy to have a wonderful woman by my side who makes me happy to see her everytime.

This is the most accurate, self-fulling chart ever

I want to love Mad Men, but to me it's like a really long story of how Don Draper gets neutered.

Marshall was right, Velma never got enough play, and look, she's the last one standing.

Zombie Scooby is a flick I could get behind:

This movie would be so kick-ass to see.

Who can make this happen??

whoa!!!



Raindrop UX Design and Demo from Mozilla Messaging on Vimeo.

I just learned that I have a new follower who lists their occupation as "food researcher".  At first I thought, "this sounds like a job that's totally up my alley.  I love food and I love researching.  Whoa nelly, if they'd pay me to make a bar graph about pies and a pie graph about bars, I'd be in heaven!!"

Then I figured I'd temper my enthusiasm by thinking "if I became a food researcher I'd have to also become an exercise researcher."

As I typed this up, though, I'm thinking I could deal with that as long as they let me wear a white lab coat all the time.


Thanks, @eatSlow, for the introspection.

Greatest snappy comeback ever: "I'm a buffalo girl" "won't you come home tonight?". Comeback + Come on = win.

I love 30 Rock. "...and i will take the top half, for that is the part with the face"

Random truth from my DVR "even better than hot pizza? That's insane!"

One time when I was in high school I got really bored and decided to watch Golden Eye on shuffle. Learned that day that each chapter in that movie started with an explosion, and that I really didn't need to follow the ploy, just judge the velocity of explosion to tell what was going on.

I now have a new theory. I wager that if one could make their DVD player or pc shuffle 1-3 min increments of "Its Always Sunny", you'd have a show that looks very much the same and might enduce even more laughs. (to tell you the truth, I don't know if the writers for Always Sunny are comedic geniuses, idiot savants, or just using madlibs and are really good at improv...)

Here's an example:
Last week episode, Dee says "oh shit. There's stickers."
Episode 2 of this season, Charlie says "i eat stickers all the time!l

Totally different convo now!! I win.

Go home at try it yourself.

If anyone needs a part-time job, maybe try this:

To Do List

- Fish Tank
- Wordpress Blog Start
- Dollhouse on DVR
- Tumblr Blog Start
- Level Mage
- Yankees Game

Busy afternoon....

Once Again: $10 if you can answer all the many questions created by this picture

Whoa! OMFG! (and otherise: click here, check this out, etc)

Vivienne Long's "yoshimi" cover is so smooth and haunting and soulful it's beyond belief. I thought the Flaming Lips took down ideas from my head and made an awesome song out of all the mess, but Long REALLY came up with something here and the justification/redemption moral of the song is entirely different. If the Lips' version was michael Crichton, Long's is Hemmingway or Fitzgerald; an audio Kirusawa.

"oh yoshimi/ they don't believe me/ that you won't let those robots eat me...."

No matter the combination, me + her > against the world is a winning and universal theme. Thank-you.

who knows

Lately I am more and more equal parts thrilled and baffleingly frozen by my own thoughts of the future. Not "the future" as in 2012 or George Jettson or aliens with ray-guns and psychic powers. Those all seems like tangible threats that my inner caveman can face up to and beat down with a big enough stick. I mean the future as in, what the hell is going to happen to me over the next 40 years, and am I fixing it or fucking it up now.

I'd expect that someone who's been down the road I've traveled would already know what sign posts to look for, where it's safe to cross the river and where to find the best place to relax under the sun. Hell, after the false-starts I've endured, you'd think I might as well be a camp counselor for growing up, but if anything, it's made me more bat-shit confused about what's actually supposed to happen.

She wants to give me so much; sometimes when I think about it, it's unbeleivable that I could deserve all this.

Random quote from my DVR: "are you driving in your panties?"

Draw your own lines

Pretty sure I need to own this goomba

Steampunk + Shepard Fairey would look like this art from @skottieyoung

debating buying the hell out of this:

Ok, it's Monday morning, now go pick a career

What, you need help deciding what you should do with all these hours of your life that you're willing to trade away for US Dollars?  Ok, here's a quick one.

Pretty sure this needs to be part of my new zombie defense plan.

They have these everywhere in Canada, right?

whoa I need to own this

$10 if you can answer the many questions created by this picture

"What's the law about finding logs on the ground? You an expert in wood law?"

Change of plans, this needs to be my goal for the immediate future.

Bring It, folks!!

Just proof for my 12-year-old self that yes, sometimes this does happen.

a girl that would want to wear this would have me head over heels

ok, maybe not head over heels, but she'd have a healthy headstart.

I love Robots and Anie loves Pumpkins, why didn't we compromise on this???

Awesome Mario Art

from @Agent_M, who called it "Mario, Patron Saint of Brooklyn"

(all things I dig)

How Baby Christ leveled up his Jesus Powers

"pain is temporary; pride is forever" - random Texan dude.

Anyone else think Jillian from Biggest Loser is hot. I'm curious if I am physically attracted to her or if it's just because she's hilariously mean to people. Hate sex, maybe. Lol

So today at work a girl asked me, "want some candy?". Obviously I did not get to be my size by being the guy who says no to free candy, so I think her question was purely academic. Anyways, she starts to hand me the candy by unzipping her hoodie and revealing a large bag of candy pressed against her body. I was so shocked by this skinny candy smuggler that I took a candy bar I normally despise. Hats off lady, you have pwned the most today.

Would have been a great pic if:

if she wasn't making pancakes for breakfast.

http://www.itwasthebestnightever.com/

Work not great today? Just be glad you're not part of this Gallery of Fail

I'm going to crash my car and get that Nobel in Physics.

So we're in 2 wars and caused a global recession; make sense we get Nobels in Peace/Econ

Monday Reminder: Get your Cardio Up

because you never know...

I'm sure this is entirely staged, but it IS October, so, awareness is welcome, right?