The List

- She almost has to be a brunette, though lately blondes have been making a comeback in my book. Redheads just remind me of sophmore year, though. Sorry.

- She has to be witty.

- She has to love movies (or else who's going to watch random stuff with me?)

- Must be a dog person, and not just the yappy kind. Otherwise it would just be awkward when my bulldog keeps chasing her lap-cat out of the room, and who really wants to have that fight?

- The eyes: I've had a history of girls with green eyes, always alluring, but the door is still wide open for any color. The key is that the eyes have to belie an intelligence and compassion and verve for life that can't be hidden.

- The Olive Theory. I hate them, she can have them all

- She should like helping the environment. I mean, I'm not asking for any kind of hippy-conservation expert, but interest in sustainability and changing your own life to reduce waste is key. Plus, do I really want a woman who doesn't care what kind of world we leave to our chalupas?

- She needs to appreciate, or at least tolerate, my random word uses, such as calling our future children "chalupas"

- Non-smoker, of course. And yes, sneaking out to smoke while I'm asleep is still a deal-breaker.

- To be continued....