Mr. Breakfast

Random Website for your enjoyment: Mr. Breakfast.

Hailed as "All Breakfast All the Time", Mr. Breakfast (Senior Desayuno for mis amigos espanols) gives 1 - 5 Golden Egg ratings of local breakfast places. If you really want details, you can drill-down that they give you price information and even "Refill Rating". I think this guy is serious about his breakfast.

Awake already.

Played an away game last night and now I'm awake before anyone else. This is usually an awkward time for me because I seem to sleep less than everyone else, and yet, it would be rude to just wake up and start moving about while people are sleeping. Damn sun, hitting my eyes, making me to want to get up and get some coffee! So, to pass the time I thought I'd upload a couple pictures from last weekend. There are many more pics for me to go through, but I really like these two.

Your's Truely, geared up and ready to go. As you can see, I brought the guns, in case there was any trouble.

I really like this picture. You can almost see my eyeballs.

Bitter-Sweet Goodbyes

In recognition of today's last-ever game at Yankee's stadium, a brief reminder of the greatness that played there.

Babe Ruth, Home-Run champ for 34 years. Sole posessor of the only sports record that counts. Show me someone else that could hit 60 home runs in that short of a season, fueled only on beer and hot-dogs. McGuire and Bonds can kiss my ass. I'll be plenty happy when A-Rod takes back the All-Time Home-Run Record in a few years.

Lou Gehrig, hit 50 homers the same year the Babe hit 60. His record for most base-hits in Yankee Stadium was only broken just last week by Derek Jeter. Gehrig was the first athelete to have his jersey retired when he bowwed out less than two years before his death to ALS.

Updated with photos

as promised, some photos from the shmance evening.

Mas Photos

I guess the last post got full, the damn interweb wouldn't let me add anymore photos.

So, now, ready for some random snap-shots?

I don't know what vibe Crystal was selling, but Anie wasn't having it and I was laughing my ass off.

Excuse Me... I just wanted to say, the back of your head is ridic'ilous!

This is a fucking good combo. Why didn't I think of this?!?

Oddly, prolly the best pic of my Yankee-Doodle hat and Nicole's the one wearing it.

Contrary to popular belief, I did not come up with the song that goes with the hat.

Holly must have forgotten that I'd be needing those intact later...

This picture is great on many levels.

See me there? I play some great background. I think Crystal saw this and tried to line her face up with mine. Very Hitchcock-like.

As the pictures show, great times were had by all. GG on the great party.



And the Winner is.....

Recent Pics

A bevy of pictures from the "Hat Party" for your consideration:

The original plan was just a get a beer. Then someone want to take my photo. Then Anie & Megan snuck in...

Car Bombs in Red Cups for the win. I promised not to post the picture of someone (drunkie) spitting it back out.

I posit that this is the greatest action shot ever taken. 1.3 seconds after this frame, Anie knocks Holly's drink all over herself and create a puddle of Foot-Juice. Don't worry, this did not deter further table-dancing. Or maybe do worry; who dances in Foot Juice??

This is me trying to have not-slant-eyes. I apologize for my attempt at stubble. I also apologize if staring into my eyes in this picture has hyponotized you.

A Sentiment I Thoroughly Concur With

leave you tonight with a little hope

Some Things Are Funny Even When You Forget the Details

So I had plans to offer this post as question about which of two business plans I should pursue. Unfortunately, I cannot remember all the details of one of them, despite having written it in my Treo. Guess I need to take better notes next time. Or just get a secretary....

Either way, so while I'm trying to figure what happened, here's a transcript of the conversation I had.


Person 1: BTW, why did you say I could date girls with no hands?

Person 2: I don't remember..... Shoot!

Person 1: Well, without that, my story about breast exams is incomplete

Person 2: Oh that's why.... You learned how to do self-check exams in case you come across a girl with no hands you could help, duh.

Person 1: No, that was just a tie-in. You said the handless thing at the grocery store

Person 2: I thought I re-brought it up at the grocery store

Person 1: When did you first say it then?

Person 2: I have no idea now. My timeline is confused

Person 1: So, to be clear, you have a confused boob-related timeline??

Person 2:

As of press-time, I have not gotten a response to the last question, but I feel the piece speaks for itself. My favorite part is the "duh" comment, because it was totally not the right answer. Gotta love the way a response delivered with conviction almost makes you believe it. Too bad for her, there's no way I'm forgetting the time I learned how to give a breast exam. This is a talent I'm going to make use of for years to come!

Also, in fulfilling my duties as an advocate for all breasts, I pull my time to good use today and churned out this puppy below. Just another way Random & Awesome is helping the planet; because I planet where you're not randomly flashed is NOT a planet I want to live on.



P.S: Don't pay any attention to that pesky "North Yorkshire" crap.... I just had to fill in the space.

P.P.S.: If you ever run cross a girl with breasts that actually have bicycle spokes and spirals on them, you might be in a surrealist painting. If not, tell her she owes me some royalties.

Not the Department of Redundancy Department

Since I'm sure you already noticed it on the calendar for this past weekend, Sunday was Anie's (pronounce it however you like, she just loves the attention) B-Day. The party was on Saturday, and quite a few people were at non-sober.

Before I go any further, if you were looking here for a commemorative blog about how great Anie is and all the various reasons why she's clearly worth the energy I spend each day coming up with new ways to con her into dating me... you're in the wrong place.

As a further result of efforts to help the environment, Random & Awesome has decided it would be more sustainable to have everyone "carpool" over to here and read Holly's blog on the same topic.

In my defense, I assert that Holly operates on Canadian-Time, and thus was able to beat me to the punch.

I promise to post later with some pictures from the weekend. It might be a few days as I should be switching out my laptop this week.

A Dose of Random Hilarity

So I stumbled ass-backwards across this item while looking for pictures for another blog. I assure you I was not involved in acquiring this picture, but thought it'd be great to share a laugh either way.

The caption says the girl was their waitress. She must have really been looking for a tip, because this is what the rest of the crowd looked like:

At least, I really hope she wasn't genuinely throwing it out there for these dudes...
BTW, sup with the scared look on the guy in front. He must not be used to having his picture taken with an actual, live girl next to him.

Evening of Shmance

Went to the symphony last night and had a great time.

Anie and I had gone to the Phoenix Art Museum for First Fridays the night before (which we arrive to late due to an extended Sans-Pants Nap) , so we spent a good portion of the morning being lazy kids and not wanting to get out of bed. Her more so than me, as I got jettisoned to go pick-up coffee.

Newsflash: Did I mention Starbucks brought back the Pumpkin Spice Latte? This is always a good start to a good day.

Oh, sweet, sweet PSL, you are the greatest of morning treats. Why do you run away from me each year?

But, I digress...

Several hours later, we were on our way (late, of course) to Durant's for dinner. Pretty swanky place, I tell ya, yet for some reason, it seemed that all the women were dolled up, and decided to bring their husbands/boyfriends out on the town wearing whatever clothes were on the floor. Also of note, Durant's does not seem to have a guy that comes around and offers to take a picture of you and your date. This I learned as we left and I thought outloud "I should have scammed that waitress into taking our picture".

So, as it turns out, if you plan on going to the symphony, you may want to cover these two bases first

1.) Find out where the symphony is located

2.) Find out where you can park near the symphony

We did niether of these until 25 minute before showtime, as Anie frantically tried to make use of her Pinkberry phone. (meh) Luckily, somehow, she works literally across the street from Symphony Hall and never knew it.

The actual Symphony was pretty awesome, or as awesome as things in all-German can be. It was what I expected it to be, a night of culture and people-watching, especially when we encountered people such as "sings the national anthem incredibly loud from the audience" guy and "Helen-Mirren look-a-like Silver-Fox" Lady and "wears a school-girl outfit even though she's 30" woman. Plus, one of the violinist had a dog on stage with her. Randomness: 3 Boredom: 0

Afterwards, we spent at least 30 minutes driving around Downtown and Midtown unsuccesfully trying to find a coffee house or desert shop that was still open at nearly 11pm.

In review this morning, I gave the Symphony evening a 9.0 out of 10, and said that in my head I wanted to be the kind of person who went out to cultural events all the time, but knew that in reality it could/would only be a sometimes thing.

In truth, I could go for any reason to see Anie as dolled-up as she was last night.

(Pictures to be posted later)

Finally

never spent so much time to get so little done... well, except for that time I spent a year being "married", but I digress...

Finally got my Google Calendar to embed and update on my blog here. You'd think some synergy-minded person would have made it a quick link to jump from calendar to embedded blog item by now, but not so much...

Either way, I loaded up my calendar with a bunch of events that I either already have plans to go to, or would like to go to and figured a helpful reminder wouldn't be awful. The cool part about Google Calendar is that I can configure it to send reminders to my cell phone before any scheduled events. Sweet!

Vice Prez McHotty

I don't know that I have a lot to say right now, so much as I just wanted to put a picture of Sarah Palin on my blog. Any reservations I had about voting for McCain now that he has the backing (aka the corruption) of the entire party behind him were largely erased with the selection of Sarah Palin for Vice President.

Plus, she reminds me of the always hot & funny Megan Mullally, and who can fight with that?

Promises and Realities

Let me preface by saying that back in 2000 I would have classified myself as a "McCain Republican". Nowaday, however, I am feeling less loyal to Senator Johnny Mac, as his ideas are taking a back-burner to the party platform. I think my devotion hinges on who he selects for a running mate, as someone like Colin Powell (my personal preference) or Rudy Guilianni would show a more international slant, and a stark opposition to the policies of the Neo-Cons. Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee, however, would seem like Dick Cheany: The Sequel; and don't even get me started on the idea of Joe Liebermann.

That said, I am far from entertained by the bait-and-switch that is the Obama-theory. Yes, Obama is well spoken, but that's far from being a measuring stick by which to see if someone should be President. My thoughts are that electing Obama would result in the Democrat version of W. Bush. A young candidate with no experience who'd be in over his head and end up a puppet-President to the powers behind him. In the meantime, we'll get promises like those in the article below (taken from the Assosciated Press via Yahoo)

WASHINGTON - Barack Obama accepted the Democratic nomination Thursday night
with a lofty vision for the nation's future that is far easier to articulate
than to accomplish.

The next occupant of the White House will inherit a half-trillion-dollar budget
deficit that will severely crimp any plans for spending on new programs, as well
as the messy endgame of the war in Iraq and growing energy and health-care
challenges. A look at Obama's promises and the realities he would
confront:

THE ECONOMY AND DEFICITS
The promise: Obama has pledged to attack the weak economy with another stimulus plan to follow the $168 billion package of tax rebates for individuals and tax breaks for businesses that
Congress passed last February. Obama's stimulus would include tax rebates, aid to state and local governments and increased spending for infrastructure projects. He would also increase spending in other areas such as alternative energy programs. Obama promised to "go through the federal budget, line by line, eliminating programs that no longer work and making the ones we do need work better and cost less."

The problem: Obama's spending plans and middle-class tax relief will collide with the hard reality of exploding budget deficits. The Congressional Budget Office projects this year's deficit will hit $400 billion, driven higher by the weak economy and the stimulus program Congress has already passed. And the Bush administration is forecasting that next year's imbalance
will hit an all-time high of $482 billion.

ENERGY
The promise: A short-term rebate of $1,000 per couple to help with rising energy costs; release of up to 70 million barrels of oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and investment of $15 billion a year over the next decade to encourage renewable energy, clean-coal technology and
electric cars. "In 10 years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East," Obama said.

The problem: The next president will take the oath of office in January and confront an immediate crisis: The cost of heating homes is likely to be at record levels. Obama's promised rebate relies on enactment of a windfall profits tax on big oil companies, which could take months and is by no means sure to get through Congress. The last time the nation had such a tax, from 1980 to 1988, U.S. reliance on foreign oil went up. His longer-term solution, encouraging alternative energy by creating a $150 billion clean energy fund, relies for financing on a program of selling pollution allowances to combat global warming that is even more uncertain.

FOREIGN POLICY
The promise: Obama says he would engage both allies and adversaries to repair the U.S. image
abroad and regain leverage and leadership that he says Bush squandered. He says he will marshal international pressure against Iran, boost U.S. efforts against extremists along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border and get a faster and firmer start on Middle East peacemaking. He vowed to "renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression."

The problem: The United States has already reversed many policies other nations saw as isolationist or bullying — for example, by joining international diplomatic efforts with "axis of evil" nations Iran and North Korea. Obama would continue those efforts and others without any greater guarantee of success. Any U.S. administration wanting to step up activity in Pakistan will face strong resistance from Pakistani authorities and probably pay the price for violating its sovereignty by seeing cooperation cut back.

DEFENSE
The promise: Pull all U.S. combat forces out of Iraq within 16 months, send more combat troops to Afghanistan and provide better care for wounded troops and veterans. "John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal to end a misguided war," Obama said. "That's not the judgment we need."

The problem: A troop pullout is feasible and conforms roughly to a withdrawal timetable advocated by the Iraqi government. But a 16-month timetable risks shifting responsibility to Iraq's security forces before they are ready, and it gives the insurgents an explicit target date for waiting out the Americans. Until forces are pulled from Iraq, there are none to bolster the force in Afghanistan. Balancing needs in those two countries will be an immediate challenge for the next president. There is a broad consensus on the need for more troops to combat an emboldened insurgency in Afghanistan and to train government troops there, but the trick is to accomplish that without giving up gains against the insurgency in Iraq and without robbing combat-weary soldiers and Marines of the rest periods they need. Caring for veterans and the wounded entails enormous costs, and the scope of the health care requirements for returning troops is not yet fully known.

EDUCATION
The promise: An $18 billion plan that would encourage, but not mandate, universal pre-kindergarten; teacher pay raises tied to, although not based solely on, test scores; an overhaul of President Bush's No Child Left Behind law to better measure student progress, make room for noncore subjects like music and art and be less punitive toward failing schools, and a tax credit to pay up to $4,000 of college costs for students who perform 100 hours of community service a year. "Now is the time to finally meet our moral obligation to provide every child a world-class education, because it will take nothing less to compete in the global economy," Obama said.

The problem: With the budget stretched thin, a huge infusion of cash for early childhood education or college costs seems unlikely. Federal spending on education has already been rising for more than a decade. Congress and the White House will be in no hurry to tackle No Child Left
Behind, which was due for a rewrite in 2007; the economy, the war and health care are stickier and more pressing concerns.

A Year Ago

So I was going through my old blogs from MySpace with the intent that I would review where I was a year ago and have some introspection as I move forward. Then I remembered I'm packing a pair of balls, not a VJJ and decided to just quote the funny stuff. Here's two from last Summer.

My Fault

I'll admit, this was all my fault. I was careless and totally forgot my priorites.

I mean, how was not I not fully aware how smoking hot Mandy Moore is now?

No lie, Aquagirl is crazy gorgeous. I would definately make her my third wife.

Oh yeah, in case you forgot, she can also sing damn well, too. Check out her cover of Umbrella here.

Needed

ok folks, the decision making process is over, and it's very clear that I need one of these, so make it happen.

in case you're wondering, possible names include Igloo, Braffles, and Brooklyn!! (exclamation points included)

Seriously, anybody know of one for under $1400, tell me right away. Otherwise I'll have to find that farm that Rob got his dog from

Btw, I'm still waiting on the dog. C'mon people, I'm starting to get disappointed here. Only random gift I've found on my new porch so far were some balloons with a cryptic, unsigned note. Anyways, just today I thought about the dog issue and figured I should add "Rockafeller" or "Carnegie" to the list of possible names. I think a badass bulldog named after a titan of industry would be fitting.

I Can't Deny It

One day, decades from now, I imagine I'll be sitting around, telling stories to my grandkids about how we all used to queue up in lines in this little storefronts to by 20 ounces of caffeine and sugar and cream for $7 a pop. The kid will think these tales are outlandish because by then caffeine will be illegal and Starbucks will be thought of as a millennium version of the crack-house or opium den. I also think by then coke will be legal again and it'll all make no sense..

Re-Run, but you'll love it

If you subscribed to my old blogs on Myspace, this will be a rerun for you, but I think given the changes in my life since the post below debuted in February, it was oddly prescient of me.

Also, one of my favorite formats for my blogs are my "Five Things" series. (Five is a number that's easy enough to achieve but not so easy that you don't have to really analyze the topic.)

Everything from here on was originally posted on 2/28/08.

----------------------

Five Things: Quotes from my playlist

I've just been rocking out a lot lately, so I thought I'd share some. Here below are my favorite lines from the first five songs in my playlist.

Rest My Chemistry by Interpol
"And I've made stairways/ such scenes for things to regret/ oh, those days in the sun/ they bring a tear to my eye/"

While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles
"With every mistake we must surely be learning/ still my guitar gently weeps/"

Martyr for My Love for You by The White Stripes
"And I bet we could build a home/ but I know the right things for me to do is to leave you alone/"

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge
"It's only a crush, it'll go away/ it's just like the others, it'll go away/ or maybe this is danger and he just don't know/ you pray it all away but it continues to grow/"

I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles
"Well she/ looked at me/ and I could see/ that before too long/ I'd fall in love with her/"

While often times my views on the viability of love and it's further institutions can easily be construed as "cynical" or "anti-", I think the songs above illustrate that even when we tell ourselves we are stepping back and resolving our own demons, we cannot help but encounter unknown possibilities. Maybe there is truth to the old maxim "it'll come along as soon as you stop looking for it". Or perhaps it's just obsession. Certainly we all know people who are addicted to one behaviour or another. I'd hate to think of someone as "my new drug", but in hind-sight, I think we can all easily call to mind at least one person from our pasts who would fit that description. Sometimes a fling is just a fling, but sometimes a fling is a fucking harsh life lesson. In fact, I will venture the following hypothestis; it is easier to stand tall and firm in the snarling face of adversity than in the comforting warmth of awful embrace.

When it's all said and done, I wonder who will think of me as their "Best Mistake".

Only Kings need Thrones

As I may have told you before, we have CNN going on the monitors all day at work, but aside from glancing at "breaking stories", I almost always get my world news online. Count me as one of the generation of people who have devalued the traditional newspaper, but with print and television media you have to receive the bias as it comes. With the internet, you can always click away and find a new source.

One thing that has been in the news has been bothering me. The except below doesn't really cover it, but it is what reminded me of this problem that's been irking me.

DENVER - Sen. Barack Obama dropped in on his own party at the Democratic convention a day early Wednesday to praise his wife, his former rival, and former President Bill Clinton for going to bat for him.

"I think Michelle Obama kicked it off pretty well, don't you think?" Obama said, as delegates at the Pepsi Center roared.

As his wife clapped and smiled and mouthed, "I love you," Obama joined his running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, on the platform.

"If I'm not mistaken, Hillary Clinton rocked the house down last night!" Obama said.

He also praised former President Bill Clinton, who spoke earlier Wednesday night, as someone who reminds us about "what it's like when you've got a president who actually puts people first. Thank you President Clinton."

Obama told the crowd he was proud to have "the whole Biden family on this journey with me to take America back."

He said the convention was moving to Invesco Field at Mile High on Thursday because, "We want to open up this convention to make sure that everybody who wants to come can join in the effort to take America back."

So, let's take a brief review here, since that's what Obama did tonight. The convention started on Monday with his wife speaking about him. Continued on Tuesday with his biggest rival endorsing him. Then today it was President Clinton (supposedly Obama's role-model for leadership) and Sen. Biden. By my count that's 1 President, 1 past First Lady, 1 potential First Lady and 1 potential Veep. All of them gave their speeches at the same venue. But when Barack Hussein Obama speaks, it will be in a football stadium, "to make sure that everybody who wants to come can join". Sounds like it's being held in a football stadium as a coronation.

Here we have Obama, greater than Bill Clinton, so many more people want to come here him speak in person that he cannot be confined to the same meager quarters as those subordinates he so recently relied upon...

Don't you feel the rejoicing in the streets already, Cassius?

Myself, I can't stand the ostentation of this, and I'm usually a very strong proponent of well-timed arrogance.

Then again, this is the same guy who said, during the YouTube debates, that he would gladly sit down and negotiate with the guy from Iran who denies that the holocaust happened. Maybe Obama is less Clinton and Kennedy and more Jimmy Carter than you realize.

Random Memory inspired by Random Image

I totally remember taking Eggs to Hooters at Arizona Center when he was 11 or 12 and laughing as he told the waitress he couldn't hear her so that she'd lean in and he could do this...

Games that cause Frustration, Pain and near-accidents

Everybody's played Slug Bug at some time in their life. Simple game, you see a bug, you call it out and hit someone. It includes both winning and frivolous, mild-violence. What's not to love?

Well, recently someone introduced me to a new game called Bruiser Cruiser.


(No, it does not involve being "cruised" by gay dudes while your dancing at Devil's Martini. "No, thank-you for asking, but I'm just trying to enjoy my drink here...")

Needless to say, Anie thought this was a new challenge at which she could excel and try to beat me (both literally and figuratively). Much to our mutual surprise, you would not believe the number of bugs, PT Cruiser and FJ Cruisers seen around this town.

So far the "game" (or bloodfest as I want to call it) has been going on for about three weeks and the score is 98-98.

When I reach 100 I will be righteously rewarded with a new Yankees cap. Score for me! I'm also required to say that if, by some strange means, I lose my eyesight and Anie gets to 100 first, she's supposed to get some yarn or string or ribbon or something... I'm not really sure what all that entails, but c'mon, you think I'm really going to lose when the Yankees are on the line?

98 t0 98. That nearly 200 freakin' bugs and cruisers seen in the last three weeks alone. Can someone try to show these trendy ass-hats how to buy a different car? Though, in fairness, the score would prolly be the same if we had a way of tracking hideously customized F150, S10 and other mini trucks, but I just can't find a way to make it acceptable to hit someone because I saw a Durango with the Virgin Mary on the hood.


If this post has inspired you to start your own game of pain and retribution, here are a few tips I've come up with.

- Stay in "Game Mode". These bastards might seem like they're everywhere, but they actually travel in packs. Yesterday we saw eight eligible targets just between McDowell and Thomas on Central. Other hot spots: Camelback between 16th street and 32nd street, the parking lot for Safeway/Einstein's Bagels on McDowell and 7th, the Safeway parking lot on Hayden & Chaparral, and Tempe Fucking Marketplace (can you tell who racked up the score while we were there??)

- Yes, all types of "cruisers" are allowed, but HHR's are not. Nice of Chevy to produce a vehicle that acts as a means of losing points in this game, no? (While I wrote this I realized that I missed a point the other day when we saw an old man on a beach cruiser at a stop light. Damn it!!)

- Do not call out "Slug Bug" and notice that the car is really a Prius. You will just look dumb and lose points.

- Do not try to score traffic going in the opposite direction on the freeway. It tends to make the driver slide over into the next lane and usually leads to the Prius-problem noted above.

- Fellas, you may want to wear a cup. I've been punched and near-punched in the twig-and-berries at least four times. One of these I feel was not "accidental". My counter-attack so far, put my money clip deep in my front pocket and watch her end up punching that instead of my leg.

- If things get stressful, don't try to beat your opponent to the punch. You'll just end up hitting the gear-shift and putting the transmission in neutral while driving down a busy road. The other cars don't like this so much.

- If you see this thing, punch first, say "wtf" later